To the shmuck in the front row, 

Always questioning or conversing with the professor, 

And supplying more than a “yes” or “no” answer. 

To the wannabe professor’s pet, 

This, right here, is what’s called a general education course. 

Meaning, it does nothing more than fulfill a pointless need.

To the jagoff front and left-center, 

No one cares about your opinion regarding the material. 

In fact, at semester’s end, you’ll be the most hated memory of the course. 

To the dude with the creepy smile, 

It’s easy to read a person based on facial expression, 

But your grin insists some sinister intentions.

Your jeans ride higher than the class GPA, 

Which can only insist on one thing; 

Your large ego is only compensating. 

To the fella that sits alone and contemplates more than he masturbates

No one like’s an ass-kisser. 

By the way, you’ve got a little brown on your nose. 

Your incessant interruptions cause a short 50-minute class period to drag on for days. 

Congratulations, you’ve literally altered the time-space continuum in your favor, 

For that, you deserve a Nobel prize. 

Yet you always stop lecture and share a very pointless piece of information. 

It’s great that you understand the material so well, 

However no one else gives a damn about what you have to say. 

With that being said, please, for the sake of our sanity’s, 

And the rest of your dignity, 

Do us all a favor, let the professor profess and shut the hell up.