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December 6, 2011

Wash U Makes Another Top Ten List!

Tuesday: Delighted university officials announced that WUSTL has made yet another publicized top ten list: “Top Ten Schools That Have Made Nearly Every Top Ten List Except The List of Top Ten Schools.” Previous top ten spots include “Top Ten Friendliest Campuses,” “Top Ten Campuses with Renowned Cement Architecture,” “Top Ten Research Institutions,” “Top Ten... MORE »

November 29, 2011

Confused Family of Four Found inside South Forty House: “We Thought It Was a Carnival Cruise!”

Tuesday: A family of four was found with an unusual amount of suitcases stealing from the salad bar at Paws-n-Go. “Don’t you just love an all-inclusive resort?!” Marilyn Jones shrieked as the B & D security guard reprimanded her. According to the security guards, Mrs. Jones and her family had actually been asked to leave... MORE »

November 15, 2011

In Defense of No Pants

            Lately there has been a lot of negative sentiment revolving around MY clothing choices. Ok, so it’s not, like, just my clothing choices, but sometimes it feels that way. I see you smirking when I’m in line for my latte in Whispers. I see you pointing and whispering when I’m... MORE »