Word on the web is that the LA Metro stop south of campus will open for passengers on April 28th, 2012. We’re pretty sure that that won’t happen, though if it does, batten down your hatches in December. Just in case, we present this goofy collection of all the little frustrations we felt because of this vestigial organ of public transportation.
As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will... MORE »
With tensions steadily rising in the middle east, the Israeli and Palestinian communities at USC took it upon themselves to show their support by having a protest-off right in the middle of campus. With the actual situation in the middle east not moving forward the student protest were forced to just see who could be... MORE »
Last night as the UCLA Bruins spiked the ball down to run out the clock and stamp their name on the games victory, both the rains and a sense of extreme disappointment in our quarterback, Matt Barkley, descended over the campus of USC. A downtrodden Barkley, taking the loss to heart, flipped up the collar... MORE »
We lost a football game. It’s sad. The margin wasn’t quite 50 – 0 (yep, still have bragging rights on that one), but we still lost. Don’t worry (I know you weren’t), Trojans. Your arrogance is still well deserved. And here are the next twenty-five reasons why: 1. The benefits of a private university: Google... MORE »
It is difficult to explain the USC-UCLA rivalry to an outsider: Trojan arrogance and understood superiority runs deep and cannot always be rationalized. In light of the game tomorrow (and UCLA’s recent bout with trying to tear down our traditions), here are fifty reasons you can feel content with your arrogance. Fifty seemed like an... MORE »
Tension and unease have been running high on the two major college campuses in the Los Angeles area over the course of the past week. In the lead-up to the annually contentious UCLA-USC football game, pranks and insults have grown more vicious than in recent years. In reaction to a rule change preventing the USC... MORE »
Early this morning, at the intersection of McClintock and Jefferson, a masterful exhibition in balance and composure was held by a student riding her bike through the intersection. Coming from the direction of the Century Apartments, (where the food trucks always park for you freshmen) she elegantly raised her left hand at a seemingly pre-measured... MORE »
In case this is literally the first thing you’ve seen in the past 24-ish hours, let me deliver the news to you: President Barack Obama is still President Barack Obama and it’ll be another four years until we call him former President Barack Obama. Michelle is still around (yay!), we’ll see Malia hit the big... MORE »
So you decided to study at USC. I’m thinking that you weren’t seduced to South Central for its vast array of lush flora or rare animals. If you were looking for wildlife beyond the Row on a jungle themed party night (or I guess club hopping in Hollywood), then you probably think four years in... MORE »
If you’re reading this, you probably go to USC. If you go to USC, you’ve had the concept of the Trojan Family drilled into your head since stepping foot on University Park Campus. The Trojan Family is comprised of every USC student, past and present. In a lot of ways this is great – you’re... MORE »
Three weeks ago, USC sent out an email, which ten people read, asking for feedback on some suggestions for a new GE program. I am as glad as a plastic trash bag that I took the time to read these and mad that there is no Internet equivalent of a plastic trash bag for me... MORE »
When you wander around campus, you may find yourself chuckling at the quaint and curious monikers that USC consistently slaps on building after building. They appear to do this with no regard for what most students, unversed in campus history, might assume they mean. Here are a few of my favorites. Argue Plaza — After... MORE »
It’s that day again, dear readers. It is a day of enlightenment, for us all to share in new beliefs. Today, gullible is written on the ceiling, genetically-engineered winged pigs have escaped their containment tanks, and HBO canceled Game of Thrones on a whim at 12:00 AM. Really! Anyone with half a brain can become... MORE »
The recent Daily Trojan article on sarcasm left me a little out of sorts. “One idiom calls sarcasm the lowest form of wit,” the columnist wrote. Though it’s not a direct attack, I still feel that it’s my duty to hold up some sort of shield to protect sarcasm and USC Basement, where sarcasm brings us... MORE »
CB reporters had to provide a steady supply of Kleenex as emotion, tears and tear-snot poured out of sophomore Nick Cataton early this afternoon. “Franklin turned to me with this look like he’d forgotten to grab his laundry out of the dryer. “Oh, uh, we already got housing.’ I mean, is that all I am... MORE »
The James Franco’s short film “UNDERGRADS – Episode 1″ met with great controversy last Friday when it screened in his CTPR 241/290 section. The room buzzed with feedback from his fellow students in the introductory filmmaking class, but professors Doug Banks and Mary Ford were grim in their analysis. “Well, I enjoyed the film,” said... MORE »
Dearest Campus Basement Readers, I’m not sleeping with them. Oh no. I’m just saying, “Dearest’ is a little much. Hey there Campus Basement fans, They aren’t idiots. You, however, can’t even punctuate properly. Hey there, CB Fans, I regret to inform you — What are you, a rejection letter? No, what I am is frustrated,... MORE »
Has anyone else ever noticed that we have at least three mascots and wondered why they don’t duke it out for supremacy? One of the characteristics of the ideal Trojan is “Ambitious,” after all. Since they haven’t yet, I’ve decided to give them a helping hand and hold the first Trojan Mascot-Off! May the best... MORE »
Some called it “turtling,” “flipping,” “burritoing,” or “nuggeting,” but many remember the high school gag of taking someone’s backpack, removing the contents, turning it inside out and putting everything back in. Masters of the craft could steal a backpack in the middle of class and reverse it so quietly that the victim knew nothing until... MORE »
My friend Becca Grumet recently portrayed her flight home as a plane full of smiling people in a Simpsons-opening-perfect sky. I. Think. Not. Air travel is an exercise in the willful torture of hapless civilians which manages, year after year, to escape the attention of the International Criminal Court. Let us throw off the yoke-like... MORE »
You’re sick, and this time I’m not talking about your internet history. You’re down with a bug, you caught a cold, the germ armies stormed the castle of your body. If you had no work, you would gladly take a week off to sleep, but this is college, so you suck it up and nab... MORE »
For the past day and a half, Los Angeles residents have been battered and buffeted by strong winds, with peak gusts near 100 miles an hour. Many trees fell, and several communities suffered water and power outages. So far, media sources have designated this wild weather as another of the Santa Ana winds, widely considered... MORE »
The Immortals opened last weekend, and audiences everywhere seem to think it wasn’t speaking Greek. (They were correct–it wasn’t. Anyone who thought otherwise should see their health practitioner.) The mythology-laced 3D sword-and-sandals film managed to top the box in the US and in foreign markets with over $30 million in each region. Haroo, haroo, haroop-de-doo.... MORE »
Those in the area of L.A. Live on Saturday and Sunday might have seen some strange people, costumed as superheroes, monsters, and nerds, going in and out of the Los Angeles Convention Center. A crowd of 30,000 fans, according to some estimates, geeked out the large indoor space for two days. Josh N. Mebreaux, member... MORE »
Halloween 2011 is on a Monday. Whose idea was that again? Pope Gregory XIII? I do have some good news. In exchange for Halloween 2011 being on a Monday, Halloween 2013 is going to be on a Thursday. Current freshmen and sophomores (and a handful of juniors) can party up 10/31/13 in high (probably, drunk... MORE »
Halloween night creeps up on you like a serial killer, sinking the knife of realization into your procrastinating back and screaming “YOU HAVEN’T MADE A COSTUME YET!” For those in this predictable predicament who still want to cook up something that will turn heads (and maybe rip them right off), here are a some witty... MORE »
Los Gatos shone in the setting sunlight. Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, felt as powerful as the mountain lions for which the city was named as he gazed out from his corner office. He had the past of home entertainment by the throat, ready to rend so that the future could live. Soon, only months... MORE »
There had been a table, seconds before. Now there were only splinters, splinters and a very large man in what used to be a nice suit. “PUNY REPORTER SHOULD NOT DOUBT USC CROSS-PROMOTION’S MIGHT!” Could this be Wayne Flagg, the mild-mannered marketing mastermind mounting a money-making mission with the merry men of Marvel Comics? As... MORE »
USC’s Department of Public Safety shocked students yesterday with a heartfelt confession of the truth behind their long held practice of breaking up good times of all kinds. “There’s always a problem when there’s a private party in a private residence,” Captain David Carlisle told student leaders and press. “DPS never gets invited.” Carlisle led... MORE »