Oh hey, boo. You know, “boo’ becomes a big thing in the future. You should start using it now so you’re like a trendsetter or something. It ranks pretty high on the list of greatest terms of endearment mainly because it’s so versatile. Friends, lovers, and professors all love to be called “boo.’ Try it out. (See also, “honey boo boo child’ for when you’re feeling extra fancy.)
So, speaking of boos – there will come a time in your college life when you share a dorm floor with lots of potential boos; that’s right: co-ed dorms do exist AND they let you into one.
The good part about living with boys is that we fare very, very well in small daily interactions with the opposite sex. Why? Well, because these small interactions allow us to hint at our down and dirty sense of humor and laid back vibe while keeping our raging alcoholism and enormous freak flag hidden. Say something witty as you leave for class. Make a comment about a sport when they hold the door for you. Offer them an ice cold Natty Light from your fridge without taking anything in return.
Eventually one of them will think, “Oh, that chick is pretty chill. We should chill.’ And then you’ll be invited to chill. And let me tell you, there aren’t too many steps in between that first chill and that first bone. So, gon’ get it, girl. Slow and steady and no crazy eyes wins the race.
Now, there is a downside to co-ed living. Mainly, the bathroom. You don’t share a bathroom, but you share a hallway…and the bathrooms are conveniently located on either end of the hallway. So, for number 1s, 2s, 3s, and 7s, you are totally fine. 7 away, my friend!
The anxiety comes from the shower department. You take a shower and you don’t want to have to immediately put your clothes on while still in the bathroom, am I right? Ugh. Clothes on a not-fully-dry body is the worst thing ever in life. If you put your clothes on while standing in the shower stall, the terrorists have won.
I know, so this means you need to make a little stroll down the hallway sporting nothing but your towel and shower shoes. Who knows who you could run into in such a state! Fact of life, towels do nothing for our figure. And we’re super self-conscious being in that garment in public. Towels were meant for private parties only. And it could be super embarrassing to be wearing only your unflattering towel and run into that hottie from down the hallway who is rumored to be Australian even though there is no evidence to support this theory. How vulnerable! And your chronic compulsion to make obviously awkward situations even more awkward will totally flair up and you’ll probably end up saying something super weird like “Hey mate, I just took me shower. Bang-a-rang! Kangaroo! G’day.” There’s no coming back from that.
Here’s the thing, in order to survive you need to stop worrying about this. I mean, who does look good in a towel? OK, yes, maybe models, and hot people with defined abdomen regions, and definitely that possibly-Australian guy down the hall. But, honey boo boo child, it’s all in your attitude. Totally rock that towel and strut your sweet Adidas shower shoes down the hallway like you own it.
No, it probably won’t make you look any hotter in a towel, but people will be distracted enough by the freak flag that they won’t even care.