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USC Loss to UCLA Undeniable Proof That Californians Don’t Know How to Do Sh*t When It Rains
UCLA’s 38-28 victory over USC this Saturday marked the first time in six years that the Bruins have beaten the Trojans. During the game everyone was quick to point out USC head coach, Lane Kiffin, as the faulty party for USC’s poor performance. But the actual culprit is all the more sinister… The. Rain.... MORE »
UCLA “Vandalism” Believed to be Work of Banksy
Tension and unease have been running high on the two major college campuses in the Los Angeles area over the course of the past week. In the lead-up to the annually contentious UCLA-USC football game, pranks and insults have grown more vicious than in recent years. In reaction to a rule change preventing the USC... MORE »
10 Ducks That Are Better Than the Oregon Ducks
Think all of us USC Trojans can collectively say, “F*ck the Ducks.” (The asterisk is so my mom doesn’t get mad at me.) Bringing out less than illustrious record to a disappointing 4-3 this season, I found myself really hating all and any duck-ish entities. But I took a moment and realized that even though... MORE »
USC Wildlife: Animal Edition
So you decided to study at USC. I’m thinking that you weren’t seduced to South Central for its vast array of lush flora or rare animals. If you were looking for wildlife beyond the Row on a jungle themed party night (or I guess club hopping in Hollywood), then you probably think four years in... MORE »
MU Introduces Jersey Chasing as Newest Club Sport
Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »
I’m a JIM: A Tribute to Jets Islanders Mets Fans
It’s depressing being a fan of all of New York’s B-Teams. Life is hard when you prefer Hunt’s ketchup over Heinz, Friendster over Facebook, and Hydrox over Oreo. MORE »
Senior discovers hidden gem known as “Galen Dining Center”
It has recently come to our attention that the Galen Dining Center, also known as “where the football team eats” to campus tour guides, has gone unnoticed for many during their time at USC. What is the Galen Dining Center, you ask? That’s exactly what Steve Flanders, a graduating senior, asked too. “I just never... MORE »
Boba Fett reportedly contacted by Saints
The National Football League’s ongoing investigation of the New Orleans Saints’ bounty program has discovered that infamous bounty hunter, Boba Fett, was contacted multiple times by head coach Sean Peyton. Under the dubious program, not enough players were being injured at the hands of the Saints, which upset the coaching staff. While the signing of... MORE »
THE TIM TEBOW ARTICLE
THE TIM TEBOW ARTICLE THIS IS AN ARTICLE ABOUT TIM TEBOW. THAT’S WHY YOU CLICKED ON IT AND YOU’RE READING IT RIGHT NOW. JUST BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT TIM TEBOW. AND YOU LOVE OR HATE TIM TEBOW. TIM TEBOW IS A QUARTERBACK ON THE DENVER BRONCOS. TIM TEBOW IS REALLY GOOD AT FOOTBALL. TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW.... MORE »