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Student Skips Class, Has No Good Reason
On Tuesday, Kristen Williams’ alarm went off at 9:00 am. But instead of getting up, Williams turned the alarm off and continued to sleep, despite the fact that she had Intro to Psychology at 10:00. “I just didn’t feel like getting up,” said Williams. “The class is super easy and the professor doesn’t take attendance,... MORE »
GE Requirements: A Brief Course Guide
The main things all GEs have in common are: – Attendance will be highest the first day and on exam days. – Any other day, the class will be 1-50% of that size. – Your TA desperately wishes you would participate/give a shit/like them. – Your professor is probably blissfully enjoying both tenure and lecturing to an audience of... MORE »
Study: Class Attendance Linked to Narcolepsy
A recent study conducted by the American Sleep Society shows that attending class while enrolled in college may cause students to instantly fall asleep. The ASS has issued a warning to campuses nationwide, alerting professors to watch for signs of the disease, including, but not limited to, drooling, hypnic jerks, snoring, wearing pajamas, heads slipping... MORE »
Man Makes New Years Resolution to Attend Class More; Discovers He’s 43 Years Old
Local Syracuse man, Ted Genuario decided to please his parents this upcoming Spring semester by attending more classes to improve his GPA. “Yeah, they like were like if you get a 3.0 next semester we’ll get you Bangles tickets for the Summer, so I was like fuck yeah The Bangles! I didn’t study though, because... MORE »
TV Titan Turned Professor Gives Bad Grades for Informative Class
SANTA MONICA, CA – When Christian Boliviar was getting ready for the Syracuse University in Hollywood semester, he was excited for a lot of things. But one thing stood out above all the rest: “Frank Goldman was teaching us, how couldn’t you be excited? He’s a big shot. Yeah, practically no one our age has... MORE »
Student Answers D to Every Question and Receives a 0%
Syracuse Freshman, Zach Hillburg was more than shocked when he received the results of his last COM 107 exam this week. “I didn’t study at all, right? So I thought I’d just answer D to everything and I’d have a guaranteed 25%. I figured it was a foolproof plan so I just went ahead and... MORE »
Professor Moves Up Final Exam to Last Day of Class, Reaches “Baller Status”
And you thought your “douche” of a psychology professor should go “shove it.” “Yeah, I gotta say that before Professor Cox moved up the final exam to the last day of class, I thought he was a total asshat,” said fraternity brother Boner Jones. “I mean, I was getting D’s on his papers and tests... MORE »
Student Farts in class, Professor says, “Fart Outside!”
There really isn’t much more to the story… MORE »