The Syracuse Orange Basketball team is doing everything they
can to keep fans in the seats, from awkward yet clutch 3-point shots to
unnecessary alley-oops. And yet,
somehow, people are still not quite captivated by the #2 team in the
nation. So, last night against
USF, the Orange pulled out all the stops to keep people interested.
They started by completely abandoning their namesake and
favorite color from their jerseys and playing in what can only be described as
“tasteful jail-cell grey”. But
that was old-hat, and fans immediately focused back on not focusing on the
game. “I didn’t even notice a
difference in uniforms until somebody told me that something looked different,”
said Sebastian Samuelson, a sophomore VPA student, who is legally colorblind. “They’re all just shades of grey to me anyway…”
Then, one wily James Boeheim pulled one of the oldest tricks
in the books.
“You can’t win every game, or so you think,” said Boeheim
after the game. “So, we gave them
a head start.”
USF opened the 1st half of the game with a 20-7
lead before Boeheim signaled to his players that they could start playing
again. From that point, THE ORANGE
SCORED AN UNPRECEDENTED 26 UNANSWERED POINTS, presumably just to keep the Bulls
from feeling too good about themselves.
And yet, again, the lead was too much. During the halftime break, some players
took naps, while others were seen running to Kimmel Dining Hall to grab Taco
Bell before the postgame lines would be out the door. Boeheim had to take his foot off the gas pedal, or risk
losing valuable spectators.
The closest the Orange allowed the Bulls back into the game
was a mere point, before easing up with an 11-2 run and only winning by a score of 56-48.
The news of the low-scoring game was cause for rejoice at
Taco Bells across the greater Syracuse area.
“We’d been getting cleaned out after every home game, just
tacos after tacos!” said Flo Jenkins, the night manager at Taco Bell on Erie
Boulevard. “It’s so nice to get a
break from making tacos and be able to just make quesadillas, which was
originally my goal upon starting working here.”
The Syracuse Orange play again this Saturday at UConn. As for any possible antics to keep the
fans paying attention, Boeheim merely smirked and said, “You’ll see.”