6:30 on a Monday morning. The sun is wondering what the hell I’m doing up right now,
but I don’t have time for that. Work starts in half an hour! Time to fire up that Keurig I paid way
too much for and start the day with a much needed caffeine kick. Also, make a mental note to not stay up
til 4:30 a.m. StumblingUpon the entire internet.

Servings of coffee consumed: 1-2

It’s now 9:20.
First class let out and I have juuuuuust enough time to stop and pick up
another tall cup of joe. Next
class is in four minutes? NO PROBLEM.
I feel like I could sprint forever!

Servings of coffee consumed: 3-4

Class lets out at 11:30, and I have now been reduced to a
skin-covered bony mass of mush. I’ve
crashed, and pretty hard at that.
Severely regretting staying up all last night procrastinating that 5
page paper that’s due tomorrow”¦wait, it’s due today?! I’d better grab some more coffee”¦”Go for the big one,” I
think to myself, “you’ll need it.”

Servings of coffee consumed: 6-8

It’s now 5:00 p.m.
Vision is getting blurry.
My heart is pounding so fast it’s practically vibrating. Speaking of
which, when did I start convulsing so uncontrollably? Whatever, that paper’s done, and I just have to make it
through this one meeting”¦My head is swimming right now, and it’s impossible to
focus. It feels like the engine’s
running but the little guy behind the wheel just had a stroke. Oh look, they’re serving coffee! Well, it is complimentary; it would
be rude not to take it, right?

Servings of coffee consumed: 10-12

It’s 3:15 a.m.
I tried sleeping, but my eyelids keep twitching too much to stay
closed. Is this what it’s like to
sleep with your eyes open? Wait,
isn’t coffee bad for you?
Or is it
good for you
? Am I gonna die? Why are there so many cats on the
Internet? I’ve gotta focus here,
think sleepy thoughts, like sheep, or lullabies, or the Discovery Channel. I wonder if it’s Shark Week soon”¦ I
should go to Dunkin Donuts to get more coffee, I don’t wanna miss this!

Servings of coffee consumed: 13-14

4:47 a.m. Just
got back from the big DD. They
were closed so I had to use self-service”¦also had to punch out a window to get
inside. I would have gotten back
sooner, but people kept walking in and ordering stuff. Oh well, I’m straight munchin’ on these
coffee beans right now and doing chaser shots of half and half. I feel so alive!

Servings of coffee consumed: 16-20

6:52 a.m.
Alarms buzz; permeating the silent sleep-like trance I’ve just been in
for the past hour or so while absently staring at the TV screen. Was that a dream or did yesterday
actually happen? Dare I glance at
the clock? OH NO”¦ I’m gonna be
late for work! Where’s the coffee”¦