Rule 1: Do not take anything offered before 11 AM. The odds of you learning anything before that hour are fantastically low.
Rule 2: Do not take anything offered after 5 PM. The odds of you giving a shit after that hour are almost as low as the odds of learning before 11 AM.
Rule 3: Do not take more than 15 credits. If you do, you will become increasingly bogged down as the semester progresses, and around mid-semester you will realize that you stopped going to at least two classes anyway. Usually, the classes you skip are some bullshit sociology or economics classes.
Rule 4: Do not take bullshit sociology or economics classes. They are boring as all hell.
Rule 5: Do not take classes between 12 PM and 3 PM. These are prime lunch hours. How are you going to learn anything on an empty stomach?
Rule 6: Never, under any circumstances, take a class on Fridays. All of your friends will abide by this rule, making you the lame kid staying in reading about rock migration on Thursday night while your roommates study Hip Gyration at a bar with some hot chick. (Note: if you are a girl, your roommates study the Art of Karaoke and Seductive Dance at the bar. They are also the professors of Hip Gyration.)
Rule 7: Do not take classes on Wednesdays. Wednesday is the middle of the week, and you need time to recover from a busy Monday and Tuesday.
Rule 8: Don’t take any classes with duration longer than an hour and a half. Three hour classes may SEEM like a good idea, since you only have one day of the class. WRONG! These classes drag on and on and on. Better off taking a few 55-minute classes spread out throughout your week. Just be sure to abide by Rule 7.
Rule 9: Don’t take classes with the following prefixes: AAS, CRS, COM, ECO, SPA, GER, FRE, SOC, PSY, PHI, PHY, MAT, BIO, CHE, ENG, ITA, HST, REL, WRT, ELE, CSE, CIS, ACC, MAR, ETS, FIN, any class with a number over 300 (with some exceptions), and several other classes not listed here
Rule 10: Never schedule more than one class per day. You don’t want to overwork yourself.
After applying the aforementioned rules, your schedule should be as follows:
Monday: 12:45-1:30 GEO 101 Rocks for Jocks
Tuesday: 2:00-3:20 PED 214 Snorkeling
Wednesday: 12:45-1:30 GEO 101 Rocks for Jocks (Don’t go: it’s a Wednesday)
Thursday: HPM 422 Wine & Beer Appreciation (An exception to the 300 statute of Rule 9)
Friday: Nothing
