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The 5 Steps to Receiving Financial Aid from Your University
Given the yearly tuition increases at colleges nationwide, paying for education is no small feat. That’s why we’ve created this handy list of ways in which you can increase your likelihood of receiving more financial aid! Step 1) Add an ethnic-sounding suffix to your last name Fact: Names ending with “-onzalez” or “-chu” statistically receive more scholarships and grants... MORE »
Guide to Dorm Life: Posters Part II
It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for–the exciting conclusion to our Top Ten Most Annoying and Over-Used Dorm Posters ever. We pick up where we left off with a perennial favorite: 5. Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s While James Dean from Part I of our series is more of a unisex poster…Holly Golightly... MORE »
Guide to Freshman Orientation Events
Welcome to the incoming class! Behold Syracuse University, the land of the shitty-weather and home of an even shittier football team. Make campus your oasis, and before classes start, hit up the orientation events that our precious tuition money is paying for. (Seriously, attend them. I’m paying $50,000 for you to get free food in... MORE »
Guide to Dorm Life: How to Make Friends
Ok, so you’re in your dorm. You’ve met your roommate, and you’ve decided one of three things: 1) this is going to be my best friend for life, 2) I could see hanging out with him/her a few times, or 3) I am going to suffocate this person with my pillow as soon as my... MORE »
Guide to Dorm Life: Posters
So you’ve finally arrived at college, and everything is unpacked, your parents are out the door, and you’re free. Time to spread those little wings and bloom into a beautiful independent-contributing-to-society-citizen-butterfly. Feels good, right? That’s because you’re drunk already. Welcome to the good life. There’s just one problem: your jail cell eggshell white... MORE »
An Undecided’s Guide for Choosing a Major
Major Insights: this is the ultimate abridged guide to choosing a major at Syracuse University. Please take the imparted wisdom with a grain of salt, a lemon and a shot of tequila. Philosophy: Do you want to be a philosopher when you grow up? Then this is definitely, definitely the major for you. Because the... MORE »
How To: 5 Ways To Avoid a “Drinking in Public” Ticket
Due to the increase in tickets DPS will be handing out, we created a guide to save your dumbass. MORE »
How to Make Your Class Schedule
Rule 1: Do not take anything offered before 11 AM. The odds of you learning anything before that hour are fantastically low. Rule 2: Do not take anything offered after 5 PM. The odds of you giving a shit after that hour are almost as low as the odds of learning before 11 AM. Rule... MORE »
How to Print an Assignment On Campus Before Class
1. Enter your username and password 2. Restart the computer after it freezes midway through typing your password 3. Move to a different computer after the previous one refuses to finish restarting 4. Open internet explorer 19 times because you’re not sure if it understood that you clicked the icon the previous 18 times 5.... MORE »