Immediately following the halftime show of the Lions vs. Packers game today, the stage on which Nickelback “performed” got stuck, delaying the second half kickoff and ruining precious minutes of America’s lives.
“It’s a metaphor of our career as a band,” said frontman Chad Kroeger. “All people want is for us to go away, but we never do, and we ruin various media in the process.”
Earlier this month, a petition circulated attempting to prevent the Canadian “rock band” from playing during the Thanksgiving classic, obtaining more than 55,000 signatures of the 75,000 needed to actually stop them from wreaking havoc on the eardrums of the nation.
Next year, it’s rumored that producers of the nationally televised game are deciding between Limp Bizkit, Avril Lavigne, or Ashley Simpson.
Said one Fox executive, “The best way to prevent another Janet Jackson-like scandal is to ensure that no one ever tunes in to any halftime show ever again.”
Photo by Stanwood Dolph