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Article by BradBabendir
September 21, 2012

21 year old sorority girl surprised to learn alcoholic drinks cost money

A tragic scene occurred at Campus Bar & Grill and then Harpo’s on Wednesday night. Jamie Ellen, a member of Sigma Sigma Alpha, was celebrating her 21st birthday, which took a turn for the worst when both bars tried to charge her for the alcohol that she had been drinking. “It happens a lot more... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
August 24, 2012

Artists finally speak about Carter’s presidential aspirations

The music community’s reaction Sean “Jay-Z” Carter’s presidential candidacy has been mostly non-existent, but it seems that now artists are starting to realize the legitimacy of the campaign, many of them finally broadcasting their feelings about the rap star and business moguls campaign. Among them was fellow hip-hop great Nasir “Nas” Jones”. Carter and Jones... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
August 6, 2012

Jay-Z speaks out about social issues, other things too

Since announcing his candidacy for President, Sean “Jay-Z” Carter’s campaign has remained dormant. Today, Mr. Carter has come out with his main reasons for choosing to run for President and where he stands on many important issues that polarize the United States. “What you eat don’t make me shit,” Mr. Carter said. It is believed... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
July 15, 2012

Sean “Jay-Z” Carter announces Presidential Candidacy

  The 2012 Presidential race has been shaping up to be an ugly, close race since its outset, but one man has turned the campaigns on their heads: Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter. Carter announced his plans to run for President on Monday, his presumed running partner being Kanye West. Carter has been a hip-hop mogul for some... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
May 2, 2012

An open letter to Schurz Hall

Schurz Hall, you’ve meant so much to me. The ways that you’ve changed me are innumerable, the ways you’ve protected me are admirable, and the ways that you’ve touched me are unforgettable. I’ve been in your throws for almost an entire school year now, and our relationship is so blissfully intimate. Schurz Hall, I don’t... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
May 1, 2012

To whomever left a Taco Bell cup outside of my room

  You are a sadistic pervert. My emotions are not a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll to be touched and toyed with at your will. My life is not a game, but if it was, the rules would be changing, because I’m the fucking game master, kid. And if I read the Hunger Games, here is probably where... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
April 27, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter: The University of Joaquin Phoenix

The University of Joaquin Phoenix (TUJP) is an incredible beast. While it can’t fly or spit fire or do magic or any of the cool stuff that these other mythical beasts can do, it does have a plethora of abilities that Batman can’t pull out of his utility belt. TUJP is a simply incredible creature,... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
April 24, 2012 1 Comment

The Maneater hires editorial staff comprised entirely of kittens

    Though it’s been weeks since The Maneater published its now infamous 2012 April Fool’s edition, it appears the bottom is still falling out on the publication that once had the luxury of basking in its insignificance. With MU’s LGBTQ community still reeling from the hurtful header to the Women’s Center’s outrage, the paper... MORE »