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Article by BradBabendir
September 21, 2012

21 year old sorority girl surprised to learn alcoholic drinks cost money

A tragic scene occurred at Campus Bar & Grill and then Harpo’s on Wednesday night. Jamie Ellen, a member of Sigma Sigma Alpha, was celebrating her 21st birthday, which took a turn for the worst when both bars tried to charge her for the alcohol that she had been drinking. “It happens a lot more... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
May 2, 2012

An open letter to Schurz Hall

Schurz Hall, you’ve meant so much to me. The ways that you’ve changed me are innumerable, the ways you’ve protected me are admirable, and the ways that you’ve touched me are unforgettable. I’ve been in your throws for almost an entire school year now, and our relationship is so blissfully intimate. Schurz Hall, I don’t... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
May 1, 2012

To whomever left a Taco Bell cup outside of my room

  You are a sadistic pervert. My emotions are not a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll to be touched and toyed with at your will. My life is not a game, but if it was, the rules would be changing, because I’m the fucking game master, kid. And if I read the Hunger Games, here is probably where... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
April 27, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter: The University of Joaquin Phoenix

The University of Joaquin Phoenix (TUJP) is an incredible beast. While it can’t fly or spit fire or do magic or any of the cool stuff that these other mythical beasts can do, it does have a plethora of abilities that Batman can’t pull out of his utility belt. TUJP is a simply incredible creature,... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
April 6, 2012

Missouri 11th fattest state, continues to fail to be number one in anything

This week, CBS News reported that *Missouri was the eleventh fattest state* (*Make this a hyperlink to the news story*) in the continental U.S., as well as the entire union. As expected, many state and federal law makers were upset with the unflattering distinction. The number 11 tag shows a continuing, frustrating trend within Missouri:... MORE »