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tagged kimmel »
Student Goes to Kimmel Food Court Sober on a Friday Night; Explodes
Memorial services will be held this upcoming week for SU student, Laurel Matowski. Laurel was studying for his Anthropology exam this upcoming week when he decided he was hungry and needed a snack. Allegedly, Laurel walked into the Kimmel Food Court and 2 a.m. and was met with widespread panic. “YOU NEED TO GET OUT!”... MORE »
Kimmel (un)Fortune Cookie
and my lucky number was 44! MORE »
How to Exercise at Archbold Gymnasium
Greet the card-swiper at the front desk, even though she will NEVER greet you back, and make your way upstairs Sprint through the basketball courts, pretending you don’t see 16 pairs of eyes glaring at you because your big toe touched the out-of-bounds line on their court, causing the short Asian kid to miss the... MORE »
Prank in Kimmel Hall
good time MORE »
Frank Warren Visit Inspires Syracuse University Post Secret Submissions
  The upcoming Frank Warren visit on October 20th has inspired literally dozens of Syracuse University-related Post Secret submissions. Here are just a few of the finer ones: MORE »
Statistics Show No Kimmel Customers Can Form Coherent Sentences After 1AM
A recent survey conducted by Gallup Poll indicates that patrons of Syracuse University’s Kimmel Food Court are incapable of speaking in complete, explicable sentences after the hour of 1:00am on Friday and Saturday nights. Kimmel is a popular on-campus cafeteria featuring a number of fast food options, including Taco Bell, KFC, Burger King, Sbarro, and... MORE »
Chicken Not-So-Little
On Friday, February 19, Kevin Ashton was turned away from Kimmel Dining Center because he was too fat. Ashton approached Kimmel at approximately 1:35 a.m., prime time for Kimmel-goers. However, when he got to the entrance, security guards were in place, upholding the new policy that all guests to Kimmel are required to have the... MORE »