Hey buddy! It’s been a while, right? Haven’t talked since high school. What you up to at Syracuse? Chillin’?
      Ha ha ha ha. I’m just playin’. Seriously, though, it must be dope up there in the snow. Wish you were here in [Florida/Texas/southern California] with me though, bro. We could do it up big-time. You should visit!
      What? There’s no convenient route from Syracuse to where I’m at? That’s weird. Why don’t you just go down to the city and go from there?
      You’re four and a half hours away from N-Y-C? You mean, like, walking?
      Oh. Mad harsh. I figured you were in New York, but…I guess you’re really in like Canada then. Explains the weather, amirite? Ha ha ha ha.
      Just playin’.

      Damn, dude, you’re studying for midterms right now? Me too! That’s so weird. Where you studying at?
      The library? Is the swimming pool on your Quad full? There’s usually primo spots to perch a textbook at the edge of that pool. Read a page, play a point of volleyball, read another page, throw hot chicks into the pool with you, read a third page, then get a straight-up beej. You should do that up.
      Oh, so you guys don’t have a Quad swimming pool? Weird.

      Our Spring Breaks line up? That’s awesome, man! We can totally chill! Where you gonna be at?
      …I dunno dude. I mean, you’ll be in our hometown, which is cool. They’ve, um…they’ve got that one bar. Mad chill.
      But I’m not going all the way back to [New Jersey/outside of Boston/upstate New York]. Isn’t really gelling with my plans. “Cause I’m gonna be at [sweet resort-like city your SU friends who can afford it are going to be at] that week.
      Nah dude, I’m not flying there. I’m driving. Me and the girls I’m going with need tequila money. Plus this school is mad expensive. It costs like [a third of SU tuition] to go to school down here.
      Makes money tight, you know?

      How’s your girlfriend? What? She broke up with you? Mad harsh, bro. Mad harsh. I saw that picture of you two and you looked really happy. Although she had that mad big winter coat on…that’s weird, right? You’ll find somebody hotter, don’t worry.
      What? All the girls there wear giant winter coats all the time? Oh, right. It’s not that warm there.
Thanks for askin’, my girlfriend’s great. It’s been three weeks now, which is pretty long for down here. With all the sunbathing and taking-body-shots and beachfront raves, it makes it hard to stay faithful, you know? Ha ha ha ha.
      Course I gotta be honest, I think I love her. She’s smart, funny…not just another-girl-who’s-in-Maxim-Magazine, you know?
      Cause we’ve got a lot of those at our school.
      Oh and the girls are wicked easy. Like I was at this surfing contest, and–hey, that was when you were sitting in the snow for two days to get a basketball ticket, right?
      Yeah, that was that same night.

      Alright, I gotta hang up. We’ll talk soon though, yeah? Hang tough up there.
      And if you get lonely I got a lot of free copies of Maxim, cause of [hot, youthful name]. Ha ha ha ha! Just playin’.
      Seriously, though, not the April issue. That’s all mine.