Each and every day, hundreds of students pass by the Physics building on the quad, staring at their reflection in the mirror-like windows. Nonetheless, during the in-between class times, this behavior can cause some dire effects. 

“Students are just staring at themselves, and not looking straight ahead. We’ve had almost twenty head-on collisions in the past few weeks,” claimed Physics professor Phil Frankson. “I like to just look out my window and watch the students fall to the ground. It’s pretty hilarious.”

Other professors in the building were attempting to discover a formula to calculate the rate of students passing per time, versus the rate of collisions. Two of these professors have made a joint venture with a Sociology professor to further investigate the role of self-esteem, length of staring, attractiveness, and number of collisions. “The correlation is linear. As self-esteem and attractiveness increase, the length of staring and number of collisions increase as well.”