After the record crowd for the Villanova game on Saturday, SU’s football team decided that, in order to maximize crowds for their games, they will now play on a field the same size as the basketball court.

Players have lauded the new decision and the multi-faceted effects it will have on the game. “For one thing,” says Defensive Tackle Kevin Thompson, “it’s gonna be a lot easier on us. We’re always getting burned on defense, and this way, there isn’t really enough field for our safeties to get so far behind.”

“Oh, it’s definitely going to help us,” says Athletic Director Daryl Gross. “Having 20,000 people all crammed into one section of the field is way better than having 20,000 people all scattered throughout the Dome.”

Some critics of the transition have raised a valid point: why bother to play football on a basketball court? Why not simply make the football players form a second basketball team?

“I like that idea,” says Greg Paulus. “I like it a lot.”