The bus system is actually much more consistent than most people say, in that the buses are consistently 10-20 minutes late. They’re also always consistently packed on the days when you have a big exam and can’t afford to be late. If you’re living on South and riding the bus, be prepared to redefine your “personal space” (hint: don’t shower for a few days and your personal space can instantly expand itself). You’ll also improve your balance from constantly standing as the bus driver veers all over the road at mach 9 while you’re simultaneously trying to text your classmates to tell your professor you’re gonna be late and hang onto the poles for dear life.

In no way is riding the bus pleasant, but here are a few tricks to make sure that you don’t go insane.

Trick One: Don’t go to class. This is the simplest of the tricks. You can’t be upset about the bus if you never take it, and you really only need to take it to campus, and maybe to Goldstein to get food. By boycotting the bus system, you not only avoid the frustration of being late to everything, but you can also garner recognition for carrying on the traditions of Rosa Parks and the city of Montgomery. Of course, they were fighting an actual cause and you’re just pissed about how the buses suck, but whatever.

Trick Two: Bring a car. The more you can drive places, the less upset you’ll be about living on South. The one downside to this trick is that, to drive to class, you’ll need to buy a parking pass, which costs anywhere from $500 to a year’s tuition, and the pass you buy will inexplicably not apply to any of the parking lots in the Greater Syracuse area. Still, you can drive to Goldstein and Wegmans. And if you can’t park on campus, you can always combine tricks one and two.

Trick Three: Start dating someone on Main Campus. Whether or not you’re attracted to them, you will benefit from this situation. Sure, she looks like the lovechild of a Yeti and your Uncle Bernie, but she’s got a sweet set-up in Watson! What’s not to love? If all it takes for you to avoid riding the bus is to shave Harriet’s back, you’d better sprint your ass over to Watson with a Gillette Fusion and get to work.

Trick Four: Suck it up. It’s really only bad in the winter and on game days and when you have class and if you get motion sickness and if you don’t like tight spaces or open spaces and if you don’t mind missing some important/enjoyable events that you will never experience again.

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