Over the weekend, hundreds of feminists held a protest
outside of Manley Field House, clad in clogs, arriving in Subarus and
disorienting passers-by with an inordinate amount of flannel. The protestors
vied for a change to the current name of Manley Field House, which the
feminists deemed “highly offensive.”
“Women are just as good at sports as men,” said Connie LeRue,
adding, “It’s unfair to women at Syracuse, nay, around the world that our sports practice field has such a masculine
name. It’s Hitler-esque.”
SU officials remained unmoved by the protest, but were as
respectful of the feminist protestors as possible. “What the FUCK are these
idiots talking about?” asked Jackson Moreno, one of the respectful SU
officials. “Number one, Manley Field House was named after the man who funded
its erection. Number two, women are not even close to men when it comes to
sports. Have you seen our women’s
basketball team? Atrocious.”
The feminists, unfazed by Mr. Moreno’s lucid comments, have
declared that they will be camping out in the Manley parking lot until their
concerns are taken seriously.
“Good luck to them,” said Cinco. “They have about as good a
chance of being taken seriously as our football team does. And they’re men!”
