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It’s time for the last adderall binge push. One more round of finals season, and my 16 years of taking tests and writing papers will be over. After 16 years of schoolwork – yes I’m including elementary school, because multiplication tables were fucking hard – I should have finals studying down to a science. Honestly,... MORE »
As a college student in the big city of New York, my life is a blur. Not because I am constantly drunk, but because I am so busy that each day never seems to slow down. With all of my Hulu watching and class skipping, how will I ever get enough minutes for dinner cooking,... MORE »
I’m no math major, but I’m pretty sure college is expensive. After four years of paying for alcohol food, and for drugs dorms, and for hookers books, I am pretty much done giving my hard earned bucks to this institution. Instead of understanding my grievances, the school is asking that I shell out even more... MORE »
There are not enough midgets in Europe: And other lessons I learned on my Spring Break jaunt across the Pond
I’m not normally extravagant or glamorous. I steal packets of honey from coffee shops and eat them as a “balanced meal” on a regular basis. So my decision to spend my hard-earned money on an 11 day trek through Europe surprised even me. But spend it I did. While it was my Spring Break, and... MORE »
I love brackets. They are the parentheses’ ugly cousin. [They are the boxy, Khloe Kardashian to the sumptuous curves of the Kim Kardashian-like parenthesis) Want to know what bracket I’m not so keen on? The March Madness bracket. I grew up with the Lakers and the Clippers, people. I’ve seen professionals fight and whine like... MORE »
It’s almost spring break. That means many of you are almost at the airport, about to crack open a brand new Hustler Magazine copy of the newspaper and a KING SIZED SNICKERS bottle of water. While this is a civilized way to kill time, why not make a drunken fool of yourself instead? Campus Basement... MORE »
On Saturday, March 3rd, Lindsay Lohan debuted her new inflatable face on Saturday Night Live, scaring children, parole officers, and Aaron Samuelsez across this great nation. In equally exciting news, March 3rd brought with it the announcement that President Barack Obama will be speaking at Barnard College, the most prestigious of all female colleges barring Rupaul’s... MORE »
Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »
So you’re sitting on the crapper. You’re trying to squeeze out all those Valentine’s Day candies you inhaled while watching BOTH Bridget Jones’ movies. You need a distraction. What better distraction than tales from the hood? Rappers have enticed us for years with stories of “going hard on a ho” and “sticky green” and “bling”.... MORE »