First off, apologies. I was apparently too lazy to finish the title because I’m a man. At least that’s the case according to a study released by the President of the College of St. Benedict (motto: “Sticking out isn’t always a good thing.”)
Surprise, surprise, this is an all-female school. Which begs the question: how the hell could any males be subjected to a study at an all-female school?!
Regardless of this “minor” detail, I have put together my best estimate of what this “study” consisted of.
1) Show a guy a selection of dresses and then ask him which one he liked best; if he falls asleep, check off “lazy.”
2) Turn on Real Housewives. Doesn’t matter which one. Ask the guy what happened in the episode. If he can’t tell you (and hasn’t jammed Q-tips into his brain), check off “lazy.”
a. If he has jammed Q-tips into his brain, pull them out. Then check off “lazy” because he couldn’t even take his own Q-tips out of his brain.
3) Ask a guy to do anything. Anything at all. Even tap his nose. But it has to be during a sporting event. Check off “lazy,” there’s no way he’s gonna do it.
4) Ask a guy to travel out of his way to take part in a study wherein an all-girls school aims to prove that he’s lazier than the women conducting the study. If he shows up, check off “lazy.” He’s supposed to be in class.
5) Ask a group of girls if they think their male counterparts are lazier than they are, making sure to emphasize that this is a class they’re taking and if they admit to the professor that they are, in fact, lazy, they will fail.
6) Conclude study with Cosmos, Dirty Dancing and a shoe sale.
*Note: this article is not intended to offend women. It is intended to offend the ridiculous study that was conducted by women. Also, Dirty Dancing sucks. (That was intended to offend women.)
