2011 was a hell of a year for us. We’ve built an amazing staff of truly brilliant, hilarious writers from different schools and backgrounds all over the country and expanded to 12 active university pages. Also, Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, and Kim Jong-il all died, which leads me to believe that there’s some sort of indirect correlation between how big Campus Basement is and how many terrorists and repressive government leaders get to live. We’re clearly doing a great thing here.

Now that the year is over, here’s a look back at 10 favorite articles as determined by a vote from our main staff and our university-level head writers. In no particular order:


‘Occupy Gringotts’ Protests Shut Down Diagon Alley for Third Straight Day

GMO wrote a hilarious Potter-esque take on the “Occupy’ movements that was beloved by wizards, witches, muggles, and Hufflepuffs everywhere.

A Roommate Break Up Told In Passive Aggressive Post-Its

Leah Folta photographed a tragic story of two roommates who communicated their problems via Post-It Notes. It starts out with mild requests such as doing the dishes, but then escalates to threats of death and consequently becomes far more realistic.

10 Awesome Ways to Make Your Roommate Move Out

In case Post-It Notes don’t work, Samii Ruddy provided a list of 10 other ways to break things off with your roommates, which includes following them around on dates and telling them when they should ask for intercourse.

Food and Drug Administration Declares Pepper Spray a Vegetable

My article lampooning the UC Davis police brutality affair was a hit with thousands of “Occupy’ movement supporters and incited some insane reactions from a few naive internet citizens who didn’t quite get the joke.

A Simple Guide to Facebook Relationship Statuses

The politics of a Facebook relationship status can be complicated, but sonovabeach makes it simple with this very special guide noting that most people who are “married” aren’t actually married. Who would’ve guessed??

Naked young man saves girl’s life on top of Waite Phillips Hall

After a nationwide story of two USC students making sweet love on a dorm roof went viral in March, Lia Woodward told the true version of the story, which involved a naked young man saving a pantsless young lady’s life just as she was about to fall to her death.

How To: Deliver a Speech at Speaker’s Circle

Chris Varney taught us all about the Mizzou tradition of delivering a speech at Speaker’s Circle, a common location on campus for evangelist Jesus freaks to preach the word of God. Also includes an excellent video of Varney taking to the circle himself to preach the word of Harry Potter.

A Letter from DPS on Halloween Safety

Campus safety officers are really big on their “don’t be racist” warnings when it comes to Halloween, and Alex Piliouras proved it with his letter from DPS. Next year, be sure not to dress as anything that could be construed as an opinion. (Unless that opinion is “I’m a slut.”)

An Infinite Number of Reasons Why My Gift to My Boyfriend Is Better Than Yours

Quinn Sosna-Spear used our website to reveal to her boyfriend that she’s pregnant! Well, not really. But her article has an equally awesome and slightly less expensive twist ending, and includes some great original PhotoShop work featuring unicorns and Space Jam characters.

Posting Your Article: The Emotional Turmoil of a Campus Basement Writer

Halfmanhalfamazing explained to the world just how emotionally exhausting it is to write for us. What can we say? We love our writers and readers to share their articles even if it means using grandma’s inactive Facebook page as advertising space.

Honestly, we had so many great articles to choose from and narrowing it down to 10 was harder than Bernie Fine at a Justin Bieber concert. So what do you think? Are we right on target or totally off? Let us know in the comments what your favorite article of 2011 was!

Big things are coming for Campus Basement in 2012. I can feel it with every bone in my body, including my privates. Get ready for new campuses, new writers, and a shit ton more hilarity this spring! WE LOVE YOU. More than a friend 😉

The Campus Basement staff


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