So apparently a lot of people enjoyed my article lampooning the UC Davis police brutality affair, “Food and Drug Administration Declares Pepper Spray a Vegetable.” Since I posted it on Saturday, it has spread throughout all the internets in true viral fashion, collecting an astounding FOURTEEN Google +1’s.
But for every reader who loved my take on it, there were a few “special” cases from people who… didn’t quite get it. (Also, I’m convinced this Fox News anchor was subconsciously referencing my article when she stated that pepper spray is “a food product, essentially.”) Printed below are REAL responses I’ve collected from Facebook, Twitter, the article’s own comments, and other random blogs. Names have been withheld to protect the embarrassingly naive:
“It seems hurtful to a human body. I would not call it a vegetable.”
“WTF is wrong with our government? Fine I declare the US Government a f’n Vegetable”
“It’s nuts – not the spray all of the insanity.”
“what the?? 4 real??”
“ALEX, YOUR THE REASON NO ONE LIKES NERDS AND PUSSY’S”
“I’m not surprised…LOL…they declared Pizza a health food and health nutritionists are fired up…LOL”
“Just like they declared PIZZA a veggie for our school kids.Ugh”
“This is a hoax.”
“And so isn’t ketchup- maybe they would like to use pepper spray as a condiment too. So very sad- they have even forgotten that vegetables grow they are not made.”
“LOL-MOTHERFUCKING-LOL It’s a MIX of spices. Lol”
“This is a prank, info don’t check out”
“What led the FDA to do that? Could it be… The government’s fear of their own laws when they act in favor of their own citizens?”
“I believe that is crazy to consider pepper spray a member of the vegetable food group. It is more a weapon than it is a form of nutrition, and I personally find it cruel and sadistic that they would list it as a proper food.”
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Anyway, I’m honored at the amazing response the article has received, and astonished that some people actually fell for my “prank” and couldn’t distinguish reality from satire. Thanks to everyone who Facetweetliked it and shared it with all their friends, and I encourage any new readers to take a look around at the rest of the site. For another (Harry Potter-esque) take on the Occupy movements, check out GMO’s “Occupy Gringott’s Protests Shut Down Diagon Alley for Third Straight Day.” Plus we
have new stuff being uploaded all the time. Thanks for reading and enjoy!
Alex
