Professor O’Connor was not thrilled when one of his students handed in her 196-page English Literature thesis.

According to O’Connor, Samantha Moore’s entire senior thesis discussed the intricacies of Welcome to Dead House, the first book of the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine. Moore’s thesis delved into “the possibilities of the undead playing baseball with kids who are still alive,” as well as the idea that “parents never listen when their kids say their house is haunted.”

“I really don’t understand what she was thinking,” said O’Connor. “The least she could have done was to write the thesis about the entire series or include something about how the series was later turned into a television series. But to spend 196 pages discussing one book?”

Added O’Connor, “Her thesis was longer than the book it discussed!”

Still, Moore was defensive of her decision to write her thesis, titled “Goosebumps: They’re the Shit.”

“Firstly, I resent the fact that Professor O’Connor is hating on Goosebumps,” said Moore. “And secondly, Dead House was the book that started it all. I could have written one thousand pages about that book. It has everything! Undead kids playing baseball, a dog that gets possessed, skeptical parents. What more could you ask for?”

After receiving a D on her thesis, Moore challenged her professor to name “any other book that has more substance than Dead House.” When O’Connor listed several pieces of literature by Shakespeare, Moore scoffed, “Please. Taming of the Shrew? Totally ripped off  Let’s Get Invisible!. Romeo and Juliet? Try Say Cheese and Die. Face it, everything ever written was influenced by Goosebumps.”

Moore added, “Face it. Shakespeare is no R.L. Stine.”