DeShaun Jones won the Naismith Trophy for Best Basketball Player of All-Time, averaged 92 PPG, 31 APG and 19 RPG, and was just offered a contract with the New York Knicks for $9 billion. Yet he’s just not sure if he wants to take the money, or spend another year dominating opponents only to have his team let him down in the Sweet Sixteen.

In a recent press conference, Jones issued the following statement about his decision: “I’m just not sure yet. I can either become an instant billionaire, get my family a nice house, win an NBA championship and probably win Rookie of the Year and MVP, or I can stay here at UCLA, get my team all the way to the semifinals and then, inevitably, have another player on my team choke horribly and blow the game, ruining my chance for a championship.”

“It’s a tough call,” Jones added.

Students at UCLA are convinced that Jones will spend another year as a Bruin.

“He’s gotta stay,” says John Schenker, a junior at UCLA. “He didn’t win a championship, and winning a championship in college is way more important than making a billion dollars, feeding your family, and playing at the professional level, where he would most likely excel instantly,” adding, “It’s only logical.”

Even Bruins coach Ben Howland believes that Jones will stay.

“There’s no way Jones can resist the prestige of UCLA, and he certainly loves me as a coach. He’s going to stay, I’m sure of it.”

Despite the fact that Jones has already signed an agent, is constantly wearing New York Knicks apparel, and has already purchased several homes in New York, it seems most likely, according to sources on the UCLA campus, that DeShaun Jones will stay for another year of college.

And if he leaves, it is certain that he will instantly be resented by the entire greater Los Angeles area, despite the fact that he was the only reason the team was any good to begin with.