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The 7 Week Staycation
As the SUNY Plattsburgh campus became progressively muddier (apparently snowfall decided to skip us completely, due thankfully to global warming) we took strides towards our lengthy winter vacation. When searching for fallback schools, in case we weren’t accepted into our first choice at the local community college, it was important to rate the plusses and... MORE »
Drunk Letters To Santa (Basement Staff)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Dear Tooth Fairy, Yo, why didn’t you give me any money when my mom made me get my wisdom teeth surgically removed last month? That hurt... MORE »
Breaks: A Time to Grasp Perspective?
For those of us who believe we thrive at Lehigh in a full-functioning manner, going home for breaks can be the most depressing time in our lives. This is because we are faced with the cold, dead truth that it will take a miracle(s) to help us thrive after Lehigh in the real world. It’s... MORE »
Report: 93% of Guys Who Refuse to Chug are Huge [Cats]
A recent investigation has confirmed what we all feared: when you choose not to chug, almost 100% of the time you automatically become labeled a “huge pussy” whom your friends will endlessly mock behind your back. The most recent instance of this occurred last Friday night at an apartment in College Park, MD, where sophomore... MORE »
Student Hospitalized After Choking on Bubble Tea
Free samples of bubble tea at Boba Suite on South Crouse Avenue yesterday have left one Syracuse University student seriously injured and others seriously confused. Chris Rubenstein, a sophomore biology major, was taken to Upstate University Hospital at 5:45 p.m. and has been in a medically induced coma after nearly choking on tapioca pearls, police... MORE »
Junior struggles to end abusive relationship with Prestige
“It’s still hard to turn it down, sometimes,” junior Alexa remarks wistfully, hugging herself against the first chill of fall, lost in drunk memories. Some awesome, some hilarious, some about trying fight some dude in line at 3am in Del Taco. I assume. “We had some great weekends, but I have to remind myself how... MORE »
Cornell Scientist Researches Positive Effects of Wine Tours
Wine Tours embarked upon by members of Cornell students can not only be enjoyable experiences, but they can also be healthy for the physical soul as recently evidenced by Cornell scientist, Gordon Bombay. The study by Bombay concluded that the effect of the grapes that were turned into the wine would produce effects that were... MORE »
Drunk Shaming
poop. MORE »
Survey indicates all students are age 21+, especially on Thursdays
A revolutionary survey sponsored by Students That Investigate For Fun (STIFF) indicates a unique reality at USC: the entire student body is in fact the age of 21 or older. “We at STIFF wanted to know how so many people are legally allowed to party because we thought it would just be fun to find... MORE »