Orientation week can be a scary thing as a freshman at SU. You’re in a new environment, and your mind is ripe for the molding. This is exactly why RA’s take this opportunity to lie to your face, spouting off nonsense about things you will and will not be experiencing for the next four years. Within a few weeks, you will realize just how wrong RA’s are about everything, but at the time, you don’t know any better. The following list has been compiled to protect you against RA deceit.

“¢ If you attempt to bring alcohol into your dormitory, you will be caught and the punishment will be severe.
o Translation: everybody brings alcohol into the dorms, and getting caught doesn’t really mean shit.

“¢ Hey, hey, you! You know what to do, you’ve gotta roll with the orange and jam with the blue!
o Translation: your RAs are morons. They, along with your orientation leaders, will repeatedly tell you that this chant will encapsulate the next four years of your life. The truth is, you will never hear this chant again after your first week here. It doesn’t even make sense. Roll with the orange? Jam with the blue? The only thing this chant inspires freshmen to do is transfer to a university that doesn’t have such a dumb-ass chant.

“¢ There are rivalries between the different dorms, i.e. Sadler and Lawrinson are enemies
o Translation: nobody cares what dorm you live in, they only care about two things :1) Do you have a way to get alcohol? And 2) Are you willing to get alcohol for them to sneak into their dorms?

“¢ Be sure to have your lanyard on you at all times, since it is the most convenient way to carry your SU ID and your room key
o Translation: if you are caught wearing a lanyard, you will be found the next day hanging from a flagpole”¦by your lanyard.

“¢ Syracuse is so much different than high school
o Translation: It is different and it isn’t different. There are still cliques, there are still some incompetent teachers or teachers with superiority complexes, and you’re still taking classes that will most likely have no relevance on the rest of your life. Except now you’re taking them for way more money and in a different location.
“¢ These will be the best four years of your life
o OK, this one is actually true. It’s only false in this instance because your RA said it, and let’s face it: your RA wasted a year of college, so how would he/she know if these four years are good or not? Translation: do not become an RA.

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