Madrid, Spain ““ Professors at Syracuse University’s Madrid
campus are pleased to find that dwindling attendance numbers in their
classrooms are due to the increased number of students who use their class time
to “do cultural stuff,” and have nothing to do with the large crowd of kids
eating potato chips in the courtyard. 

“It’s wonderful,” said one SU Madrid professor whose name
does not translate to English.  “I
can teach the kids everything I know about Spanish art, but they learn so much
more when they go to art museums like the Prado on their own.  I’m happy to let them skip my class for
that purpose.”

The professor was later seen asking his students about the
museum, only to receive the disappointing news that they only stayed for 30
minutes after they realized that Baroque-era Spanish art made their eyes puffy
and red and their clothes smell like hash.  Still, one student, who was unidentifiable due to his large
sunglasses and hoodie, commented that “El Greco’s stuff was really cool.”

With so much to explore in Madrid, Spain’s capital city,
students can’t help but leave class to explore everything from bull-fighting to
soccer matches to “free sangria-siestas” every Tuesday at Maloney’s Irish

“Yesterday the grocery store was giving away free bags of
chips with every six-pack they sold,” said one student who can’t remember his
name but will definitely email me about it later.  “That was totally killer.  You know, from a cultural standpoint.” 

Even more expansive are the myriad cultural outlets
throughout Europe that are just one quick commute from Madrid.  All professors require from travellers
is one brief email to explain a student’s whereabouts in order to excuse their
absence from class.  Anything more
would hamper the kids’ ability to do cultural research at historic places like
Amsterdam, Dublin, and wherever Oktoberfest is held. 

“I’m extremely proud that my students took a week-long trip
to study Amsterdam and the Netherlands,” said one history professor.  “Although, I did find it peculiar that
the report they wrote me about the Anne Frank museum had several typos and a
detailed comparison of the museum and the Heineken Brewery.  Also, I think the paper had brownie
crumbs on it.  That bumped it down
to an A-minus.”

The students, who returned from the trip on Tuesday, could
not be reached during Thursday’s classes, which they skipped due to”
jetlag/research fatigue.”