Speaker’s Circle on the University of Missouri campus has never seemed so quiet, as Gonga, the accordion-playing gorilla, and Penguin, his drummer/bird counterpart, split up Tuesday afternoon after a disagreement over creative control of their music.
Sources said the duo had been fighting over creative control ever since they started playing together.
“Gonga like to play what Gonga want to play,” Gonga said in his gorilla voice. “Gonga have no mercy for Penguin, because Penguin suck at drums and no like good music.”
Witnesses said that a verbal argument broke out between the two of them on Speaker’s Circle, drawing the attention of several Mizzou students.
“They started screaming at each other while they were dressed up in those ridiculously awesome costumes they wear, and they packed up their instruments and left,” junior Mitchell Roberts said. “I thought it was originally just an act, but I knew it was for real when Gonga let out a gorilla growl and stormed off.”
Witnesses agreed that the argument between Gonga and Penguin was the most aggressive and violent they had seen. Some witnesses went as far as comparing Gonga to Axl Rose.
“This break up sucks more than Creed and Nickelback combined,” Music Professor Charles Ferris said. “Nobody actually realized that we were watching the most unfortunate split since The Beatles broke up in 1970.”
Penguin said the fight broke out when Gonga ordered him to play the beat to Weezer’s 1994 hit “Buddy Holly,” but Penguin refused, as it hinted that they might be selling out.
“All the music Gonga wants me to play just sucks,” Penguin said. “Weezer? Really? Why don’t we just play Simple Plan covers? Are we in junior high all over again? I can only play so much Violent Femmes until my ears literally start to bleed.”
Penguin and Gonga’s musical break up has caused a stir among Mizzou students, who say that their act was one of the few things they actually looked forward to seeing at Speaker’s Circle.
“Seriously, bring those animals back,” junior Bradley Reynolds said. “Hacky Sack Guy is the only fun thing left, and it’s only a matter of time until that guy’s knees officially give out. We’re desperate for Gonga and Penguin.”
Recently, Penguin already has taken his drumming talents to Bird Is the Word, a heavy metal band composed entirely of other instrumentalists in bird costumes.
“We’re taking thrash metal to an entirely different level,” Penguin said. “Megadeth and Metallica better watch out, because Bird Is the Word is going to melt some faces.”
Gonga’s plans are still uncertain, although some sources say he may be pursuing a career in accordion technology, as he is known to be in talks with Activision to create an Accordion Hero video game.
