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When the ladies of Disney were actually alive, a college degree was superfluous. I’m using the word superfluous because, unlike Ariel, I didn’t get married to a prince at 16 and I’m going to need to know big words to get a job. It’s not like I want to be a gold-digging, amphibious ho– but I’m just a little... MORE »
I don’t know if you know this, but Columbia has athletics. Just kidding – of all the student groups here, the athletes are the ones that could most likely beat me up. So I shouldn’t be mean. Until all the a capella groups form a huge, brass-knuckled alliance, I am going to report on sports... MORE »
If you ever doubted our intelligence, our drive, our maturity or our passion for learning – look no further. This is clearly the work of a student at one of the best universities in the world. MORE »
They say you should shoot for the moon, because if you miss you’ll land among the stars. Clearly whoever said this has no concept of physics. You will obviously just bypass the moon and hurtle into the dark recesses of space until you fizzle into a fried bit of nothing when you pass a burning... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! 1. Cook this. Instead of consuming, wear it. 2. (For females) Go through menopause early. Use hot flashes to your advantage. 3. Become obese. Every step is... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! There are two days left in 2011. I’ve tried my best to sum up the other 363 days. I have sat in front of my computer... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Long before things like “tweeting” and “Kardashian”, there existed a Christmas tradition so fantastical that it almost hurts to write about it. After a long December... MORE »
Today I took two finals. Also, Kim Jon Il died. These events are unrelated, but this song will probably be enjoyed by both students in need of post-final christmas cheer, and deceased dictators. That’s all I have to say. I’m gonna study for another final now. #stabmeintheface. MORE »
Today, whilst working in the lovely new Science and Engineering Library with the overpriced-yet-delicious coffee, I didn’t see any mistletoe. I didn’t see any jolly bearded men with rosy cheeks and jiggly tummies. I didn’t see softly glowing lights, and gifts wrapped in festive and environmentally-unfriendly paper. I did see vomit, and poop, in the... MORE »