After more than two years of general frustration, Marshall junior Sasha Heinz finally caved in and looked up the word “synergy” on Tuesday.
“You know, I’d had enough,” Heinz recalled. “I was studying for one of my finals, another test based on rote memorization of arbitrary terms, when I’d decided I’d had enough.”
The final in question was for Water-Cooler Talk 351b, in which students were taught to wield but not define such terms as “downsizing,” “redundancies” and “market saturation.”
“I just want to learn how to run a company,” Heinz added, “not argue semantics.”
“There’s something kind of brilliant about her idea. It honestly never would have occurred to me to do that,” said fellow Marshal junior Andrew Cole. “I think she just got bookish hot.”
Several other business majors have echoed Cole’s sentiments, calling Heinz a “renegade” and a “maverick,” words they learned to use from Hostile Takeovers 402c.
Heinz’s action have also spurred a number of copycats enacting similar acts of protest. One Cinematic Arts student was caught searching “pastiche” on his iPhone Wednesday, and a Thematic Option undergrad looked up “paradigm” on Dictionary.com Thursday.
