Reports from ESPN, CBSSports, Yahoo, and a number of other
online outlets offering sweepstakes for March Madness are all confirming that
this year’s highest scoring brackets to date belong to four-year-old Abayar
Dyquiangco of the Philippines; Patricia Myers, the girlfriend of an acclaimed
NBC sportswriter; and Skip, a stray cocker spaniel that has been living in a
parking lot behind a dumpster for almost a month now.
The middle of March always signifies the time for millions
of basketball fans to grab a beer, a plate of nachos, and enjoy the spectacle
that is the highly publicized NCAA Men’s Division I Basketball Championship. More
importantly, however, the single elimination tournament has everyone in the
country filling out brackets for office pools and amongst friends, indicating
their predictions for who will emerge victorious in each of the six rounds.
As it is nearly every year, the current tournament has been
laden with so many upset victories that the big time sports fans who spend
countless hours studying “bracketology” and analyzing the most minute team
statistics in order to formulate the perfect bracket are finding all their
efforts have gone to waste in favor of three unlikely contenders.
“I never watched the basketball, but I find bracket in World
Wide Web,” said Abayar Dyquiangco in Tagalog language through a translator. “I
pick Marquette beat Syracuse because I like gold. It rich!” explained the small
toddler, who currently sits in first place with the only prefect bracket thus
far in the NCAA tournament.
In close second is Patty Myers, the girlfriend of longtime
sportswriter and bracketology expert Swift Bobchock. “My boyfriend convinced me
to join his pool just for fun, but I figured him and all of his big sports
friends would totally win,” Myers said. “I filled one out and picked Morehead
State to beat Louisville because of their funny name! And I hate Purdue chicken
nuggets so I had them losing to VCU.”
Tied with Myers is the equally enthusiastic stray canine
Skip, who filled out a bracket with a homeless man by barking the same number
of times as the seed number of the team he thought would win in each round. Upon
reaching the Pittsburgh vs. Butler matchup, the man was perplexed that the dog
barked 8 times, indicating his preference for the latter over the much higher
seeded Pittsburgh. Skip successfully predicted the upset victory of the 8th
seeded Butler.
When reached for comment, Skip was distracted by a squirrel
and barked a few times. Reporters were not sure if he was commenting on his
bracket’s success or was just trying to get the squirrel’s attention.
