It is 3:30 in the evening and after a grueling day of two finals and having to wake up before 11:00am, Nick Holliday is hungry. Like any Hofstra student with a working taste palate, he headed over to Bits and Bytes for some baked ziti to take home. (He had to have something to eat while procrastinating for finals.) But when he got to the door he discovered that the heavenly eating place was closed early because of finals week. After yelling, “Fuck that noise!” and ripping the schedule to shreds, witnesses said they saw Holliday sulking through the Student Center looking to buy a bottle of Tylenol to swallow. For some ungodly reason this week, all of the eateries are closing early. Many students have found themselves heading over to their favorite places to grab a bite and maybe (not really) get some studying done, only to have the doors closed in their face. This was a shock to Susan Beeson. “Where am I going to study now? My roommate is too busy having sex in my room!” I feel you, Susan. Where can I get pasta to shove down my throat while I watch Modern Family? If anything, the food places on campus should be open all night. I should be able to wander into Hofstra USA at 3am during finals week because I wanna eat a brownie sundae and study for my philosophy exam (which I failed with flying colors thank you very much).
But when you think about it, it’s not all bad. After finals are finally over we can finally go home and get some real food, finally. (Finals.) And better yet, this food will be prepared by people you love, not women that make fun of you in another language while you’re waiting for your burger. You can sleep in your bed without having to muffle the sounds of your roommate and her significant other having sex in the bathroom with your pillows. And finally, you won’t have to worry about hearing an alarm waking you up for a class you want to skip for six glorious weeks. Tis the season to be jolly.
