10. TSA gave you beads for going through the security scanner.
9. Your friend got arrested after she tried to take a body shot off of an air marshal.
8. You’re on a first name basis with the people working in customs.
7. The closest you got to being at a beach resort was your mom bringing you a Corona while you caught up on Hawaii Five-O.
6. You learned that drinking an entire bottle of 1800 tequila before snorkeling leads to bestiality charges in some countries, no matter how much a fish’s mouth looks like”¦something else. Also, fish have sharp teeth.
5. You didn’t realize that falling asleep on a beach in Florida could literally melt your skin.
4. Your trip to Jamaica ended with you getting your stomach pumped after “Dr. Marley” prescribed Quaaludes for your alcohol poisoning.
3. You’re still trying to find that on-ramp, and you’re also pretty sure that when you started the trip all the billboards were still in English.
2. The most action you got was your dog licking your foot while you watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
1. You remember it.
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