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tagged santa »
Santa Only Servicing Jews for 2011 Christmas Season Due to Economic Recession
If you pray to the infamous Jesus Christ and were expecting Santa to slide down your chimney this December, keep your partridge in your pear tree, folks, “cause it’s not happening. December 25, 2011 marks just the second time this has ever happened. The first time was on the 13th day of Abib, 33 AD,... MORE »
Disappointed Jewish Boy Receives School Supplies for Hanukkah, Again
David Steinberg was eager to get home from college for winter break; he couldn’t wait to celebrate Hanukkah with his family. “I love all of the family traditions,” he was overheard saying to his campus Hillel representative, “we light the menorah, sing Hanukkah songs, and play dreidel, what could be better?” David’s explanation seemed a... MORE »
What I’d Want for Christmas if I Were 4 (Mizzou)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! (Through the decades) Dear (1930’s) Santa, For this Cristmas alls I want is some food for my rumbly tummy. And food for my brother Jakob... MORE »
What I’d Want for Christmas if I Were 4 (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s hard to remember Christmas at age four. To our adult minds, those days are like the North Pole one foggy Christmas Eve: the Santas of... MORE »
Secret Santa On A Budget (Wash U)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s the moooooost, wonderful tiiiime, of the yeeeeeear! Holiday season gets me so excited. Family, presents, homecooked meals, no schoolwork, and that odd thing called “a... MORE »
Secret Santa On A Budget (Hofstra)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Your so-called friends decide a Secret Santa before everyone goes home for the Holidays would be just delightful, wouldn’t it? Yes, it is delightful when your parents... MORE »
Drunk Letters To Santa (Cornell)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »
To Rick Perry, Love Santa Claus
Dear Gov. Perry, I’m not afraid to admit that the idea of me is a little creepy. I mean, it says in a song that I can see kids when they’re sleeping. And while that’s true, I don’t abuse my position of power to pedophilistically spy on minors nor do I use it to publically... MORE »