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December 9, 2011

Posting Your Article: The Emotional Turmoil of a Campus Basement Writer

Writers for Campus Basement are kind of similar to that Vietnamese prostitute I met while backpacking in Southeast Asia”¦we are constantly getting pissed on. “Are you honestly going to continue using my wall as advertising space?” asks my Grandma. “Yes Grammy, I am. And you know what else, I think your crocheting is overrated”¦yeah, I... MORE »

December 2, 2011

Winter Break Delayed: Washington University To Deny Students of Christmas

St. Louis””Wash U spoiled students Winter Break plans to head home a few days before Christmas, announcing a mandatory meeting to discuss the state of the university at 11 pm on December 24th.  The school will require faculty to be present as well and attendance will be taken to ensure that no one has time... MORE »

November 25, 2011

Six Ridiculous Ways Wash U Spends Its Money

Wash U has an endowment of $4,560,043,000.  Many of you look at that massive number and ask, “Where did it all go?”  Our university has gone to all lengths to continue building their resources.  In fact, Wash U became a smoke free campus primarily because it would save them money on health insurance payments for... MORE »

November 18, 2011

Wash U to End Free Sushi Wednesdays at the DUC

Wednesday, November 16, 2011 marks a day that will live in infamy throughout the Wash U Community for years to come.  Bon Appétit management has announced its intentions to end “Free Sushi Wednesdays” in the DUC.  For those of you who are unaware of this campus-wide phenomenon, Free Sushi Wednesdays has played a crucial role... MORE »

November 11, 2011

Getting Big

My boys often ask me, “Sam, how do you stay so yoked?”  In the Wash U weight room, however, this question often comes in the form of a “how do you improve your muscular strength and definition?”  Well I’m here to finally reveal the secret to getting jacked.  Steroids! Yes, steroids are the secret.  Not... MORE »