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Ice Queen
March 3, 2010

4 AM Encounters: Letter to DPS

Dear DPS, What do you guys do anyway? I mean, besides stand around guarding our Mayfest from non-existent potential intruders…? I really don’t understand it when I call at 4am needing an escort to South Campus, and you tell me that you CAN’T drive me there, but you CAN drive me to College Place where... MORE »
February 19, 2010

SU is Hogwarts

Note: These were not randomly assigned. They were carefully chosen based on the characteristics of the student body of each school. The Sorting Hat doesn’t lie. Don’t believe me? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogwarts#Houses MORE »
February 18, 2010

Student suffers hypothermia, DPS under investigation for negligence

THE MOST DEPRESSING PLACE EVER, BUMBLEFUCK— Syracuse University student Chris Davis was hospitalized due to hypothermia brought on by exposure to freezing temperatures Sunday morning while walking back to his apartment because the Department of Public Safety refused to offer transportation. At about 2 p.m. Monday afternoon, the Syracuse Police Department received a call from... MORE »
February 18, 2010

A Very Scientific Study on the Most Effective Methods to Target Motor Coordination & Cognitive Ability on Campus

Subtitle- (read: How to Get Exercise at SU) Doing LaundryTargets: Back, Abs, Ability to distinguish and categorize colorsDifficulty Level: SU GirlsIncrease Intensity by: Folding it Flint/Day Hall StairsTargets: Butt, Legs, Thighs, Your soulDifficulty Level: Giving BirthIncrease Intensity by: Dragging your wasted roommate up with you at 4 a.m. Opening Glass Doors at SchineTargets: Biceps, Triceps,... MORE »
February 17, 2010

Ownage

Dear Person Who Cheated Off Of Me Today, First off, you shouldn’t assume that I’m a reliable source for answers (or that I’ll be passive about you using me) just because I’m Asian. Yeah, that’s right. I saw you eye me down right before you carefully chose your seat and moved EXTREMELY close to me... MORE »
February 15, 2010

Like, Like, You Know What I Mean?

No, I don’t. MORE »
February 15, 2010

Bird Library

Demographics MORE »