Step 1: Learn to
hate all things Georgetown and UConn. If you have a friend who goes to either
of these schools, guess what: you now have an ex-
friend who goes
to either of these schools.


Step 2: Learn to
despise football in all shapes and forms. If you used to prefer the NFL to the
NBA or women’s figure skating, guess what: you now prefer every

sport to football. Hell, you’d give your left nut to be able to watch curling
instead of watching the morons in orange dick around on their own 15-yard line for 60


Step 3: Learn how to
become wind-/cold-resistant. Sure, it’s hard to do, but snakes can do it and
they don’t even have legs!

Step 4: Set up your
SU Mail account.

Step 4a: E-mail all
of your contacts and tell them to disregard your account, since it
never works. Set up a Gmail account and tell them to reach you there.


Step 5: (For girls)
Learn to not wear jeans. You now live for leggings and Uggz. (For guys) Learn
to love orange. Half of your wardrobe should consist of orange apparel. The
other half should be dedicated to blue or white clothing that has the word
“Orange” written on it somewhere.


Step 6: Check out every moment of every day! (Note: anyone who does not
adhere to Step 6 is not a true SU student.)

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