When the warm weather led the brothers of Omega Kappa Psi to take their drinking games outdoors today, no one could have expected a revolutionary new technology to emerge.
As the tables, cups and beer were rushed to the front yard of their house, junior Colin Griswold noticed that something was wrong. “Yo dude, we can’t play out here!” cried Griswold. “ The table is wobbly as fuck!”
Much to the dismay of the brothers, the unlevel terrain of the front yard proved too lumpy of a surface for their foldout table. ” This sucks!” said brother Mark Stinkell. “We can’t fucking play flip cup now!”
After someone suggested moving the table inside, senior engineering major Michael Gimpino rose to the occasion and put into practice his skills in engineering to save this fraternity’s mid-afternoon plans.
Reaching behind a couch in the living room, Gimpino heroically grabbed a pizza box and valiantly tore the box into two pieces. “Gimpino! What the fuck are you doing?” questioned a football-throwing skeptic as Gimpino folded the torn pizza box.
Unbeknownst to the skeptic, Gimpino was in the process of developing a technology so bold, so revolutionary that Gimpino would likely overtake Jesus as the savior of this Easter Break.
As the partygoers gave the young hero a puzzled stare, Gimpino than lifted the corner of the table and placed his newly developed pizza-box technology under the faulty leg to secure the wobbly table.
After successfully stabilizing the table with his groundbreaking pizza-box technology Gimpino brazenly declared, “Shotty first game!”
Despite Gimpino’s masterful skill of innovation, his beer pong skills prove insufficient as he managed to lose his first game without sinking a single cup.
