I can’t believe other colleges don’t have this.
At the University of Colorado, two students have started a party cleanup service. According to Jezebel.com, these dudes (aptly named the Hangover Helpers) come to your house in the morning with Gatorade and breakfast burritos and, for $15 per roommate, clean up your mess.
This is unbelievable.
Remember that party you had where someone, who had clearly consumed a plate of shellfish fra diablo and a handle of Bacardi Razz, hurled everywhere, including inside your guitar? Thanks to these guys, you’d be eating a burrito and playing DMB in no time.
What about the time people got hammered and decided to use your fridge to bobsled down the stairs, a la Kevin McAllister in Home Alone? Instead of trying to repair the house, you could sip on some Gatorade and continue to plan Operation Ho-Ho-Ho.
Or what about the time you hooked up with that girl from your psych class and got her pregnant? Well, no, they can’t help with that. (Though Gatorade wouldn’t be the only reason for you to ask her, “Is it in you?”)
The point is, other people should be bringing this service to campuses nationwide. It’s a pretty sweet way to make some quick cash. Which is why we at Campus Basement are proud to announce that we…are…far too lazy to open this business.
But you should do it. I’m kinda busy cleaning out my guitar and trying to reassemble a staircase. Fridges make the worst sleds…