Syracuse University held an event on its quad Thursday afternoon to finally reveal the specifics of its heavily discussed “It” campaign.
The campaign raised $1 billion from individual donors well before its goal date. The university subsequently spent every cent on tents, mini hot dogs, hamburgers, soda, orange sunglasses, frisbees, video screens, tables, and noisemakers for the announcement event.
“Oops,” chancellor Nancy Cantor said. “I guess we got a little carried away.”
Cantor and the university’s Board of Trustees planned the event to celebrate the success of the fundraising. The overindulgent celebration torched all of the money Syracuse planned to use for facilities, scholarships, and community engagement programs.
Cantor said she looked for bouncy houses and elephants for the event. A 12-foot fountain pouring Swiss chocolate at 3 gallons per second was also in the works. Rapper Lil B the Based God and comedian Andy Milonakis were slated to make appearances, but after the ridiculous volume of food purchases cleared, Syracuse could no longer afford any additional luxuries.
Cantor said she doesn’t regret spending the money.
“We’ve been working on this since 2007, and so many people were incredibly generous with their giving,” Cantor said.“Although it didn’t work out the way we planned, I can at least take solace in the fact that our students got as many delicious mini hot dogs as they wanted and have a nice pair of plastic sunglasses that won’t break for at least two weeks. What more can you ask for out of a billion dollar fundraising campaign?”
Student reaction to the announcement was largely positive.
Many students cited the fact that their parents are paying for their education in full, and the university putting the money toward cheeseburgers, mini hot dogs, and frisbees was a much better use of the fundraising than scholarships.
“My dad’s paying for school, and I was really craving a cheeseburger for lunch on Thursday,” junior Steve Ervin said. “And I snagged a free pair of sunglasses that I can wear when I’m day drinking outside of Sammy.”
The school hopes to continue its fundraising into the future. As one of the few schools that has successfully pulled off a billion dollar donation campaign, Syracuse hopes it’ll be able to repeat the feat in the future.
Cantor knows the possibilities are endless.
“You haven’t seen anything yet. Mini hot dogs, noisemakers, and sunglasses are just the beginning. Will we have a fighter jet acrobatics show over the quad? Will we have Queen Elizabeth and tuxedo-clad Daniel Craig parachute on to the Carrier Dome? Stay tuned and you’ll find out.”