Last week, millions of Facebook users changed their profile
pictures to their favorite cartoon characters in an effort to fight child
abuse. Scientific data from nowhere in particular suggests that the viral
campaign was a complete success, putting an end to child abuse forever. This
week, I think it is time we address an entirely different, yet equally serious
issue ““ dysentery.

The intestinal disorder is the cause of thousands of deaths
in Oregon Trail and occasionally in
real life, if left untreated. According to Wikipedia, the disease results in
severe diarrhea containing mucus and/or blood in the feces with fever and abdominal
pain. Yikes. Dysentery even claimed the life of famed English sea captain Sir
Francis Drake in 1596. We need to fix this NOW, folks.

It’s time we start a new viral Facebook campaign! Dysentery
can have effects on almost everything from your liver to your small intestine,
so invite your friends to join the fight against dysentery and change your
profile picture to your favorite internal organ!