On Monday, the NCAA decided to cancel this year’s NIT Invitational due to a resounding lack of interest on the part of fans, players and coaches alike.
For those unfamiliar, the NIT””or Not Important Tournament, as it likes to be called””is an annual event that features those teams that were omitted from the Big Dance by the NCAA, who deemed them “too sucky” to compete with the likes of the “real teams.”
ESPN reported that the NIT usually brings in a 5.1 rating, though it should be mentioned that this rating system””unlike most Nielsen reports, which calculate millions of viewers””is counted in individual people. Meaning that 6 people usually watch the tournament. And one person tunes out four minutes into the first half.
“We just didn’t see the point this year,” said one anonymous member of the NCAA committee. “It’s the Winter Olympics of college basketball: sure, some stoners tune in every once in a while, but for the most part it’s pointless.”
“To be completely honest, we weren’t going to show up for the tournament anyway,” said Virginia Tech Hokies coach Seth Greenberg. “For what? To get that stupid trophy that screams, “Congratulations! You’re the 69th best team in college basketball?'”
Added Greenberg, “Fuck that. I have a bracket to fill out.”
Hokies players agreed.
“At least if I win my March Madness pool, I have a sense of accomplishment,” said guard Malcolm Delaney. “But winning the NIT? Man, that’s like being second runner up in a farting contest.”
Though the NCAA was quick to dismiss the tournament this year, they were not as hasty to comment on its future.
“Who knows?” said one NCAA committee member. “The way the Miami Heat are playing, maybe they’ll be in the tournament next year. We’re keeping our options open.”
I know I’d watch, if only to see Lebron James and that guy who looks like a velociraptor cry like babies after losing to the likes of Wofford.