Christina Henderson is the hottest girl at Penn State University. It’s a scientific fact. However, she has always been off-limits because of her relationship with Jared Pitt, the luckiest man in the world.

Until now.

On Sunday, Henderson reportedly called things off with Pitt, citing his “incredibly annoying laugh,” as well as his affiliation with “two of the dumbest human beings on the planet,” referring to Pitt’s cronies, Tom Niedermayer and Rob von Trapp.

While Henderson was ending it with Pitt (which he claims was due the fact that he “had too big a dong,” even though everyone knows he was cheating on her with campus slut Samantha Inger and got herpes from her), Dan Loewenherz was bringing all of you the opportunity of a lifetime with his new app designed to alert notify any stalk”¦er, potential suitors that their love interest is now available for their awkward courtships.

According to Loewenherz, the app was used by 40,000 people within the first 36 hours. 83% of them were students at Penn State. (21% of them were females). Because so many people were notified at once that Henderson’s Facebook status had been updated from “In a Relationship” to “Single,” the unprecedented increase in traffic caused Henderson’s Facebook page to be inaccessible for over two hours.

“I didn’t really know what was going on,” says Henderson. “I mean, I’m always pretty sure that tons of guys are looking at my pictures or whatever, but on Sunday it just said that I couldn’t go to my own page. Which sucked, because I really wanted to upload my photos from last weekend where I went to the beach with some of my model friends.”

Added Henderson, “I think there were even some pics of me and some models making out.”

Note to Dan Loewenherz from Penn State students: please make an app that notifies dudes when hot girls upload pictures.


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