Receptionist: Welcome to the health center, Can I help you?
Student: Uh, yeah, I drank some really old vodka and”¦I think I’m dying.
Receptionist: Ok, if you could just fill out these three forms we will be right with you.
Student: Ok, well can I fill them out after I see a doctor or something? I’m pretty sure my lower intestine is about to shoot out of my rectum.
Receptionist: Uh huh, yes, we will take a look at all that as soon as you fill out these forms.
Student: (passes out)
(5 minutes later…)
Student wakes up with receptionist holding smelling salts above student’s nose.
Receptionist: Phew. That was a close one. Are you ok?
Student: I think so”¦I’m still not feeling great, but”¦
Receptionist: Does it hurt when you go like this? (moves wrist)
Student: No”¦
Receptionist: Good. Then fill out these forms and we’ll be right with you.
(5 minutes later)
Student: Here are the forms, is there anything else you need?
Receptionist: Nope, you’re all set. Just give me your insurance card, I’ll make a copy, and then you’ll hear from us in a few days.
Student: A few days?! Wait, can I see a doctor today or not?
Receptionist: Oh, no no no. You have to make an appointment for that!
Student: OK, look, I feel awful. I just passed out in your lobby. Is there any way I could see someone today?
Receptionist: Let me take a look. Hmm, sorry, actually we are booked for the next 2 weeks.
Student: Are you serious?! I’ve been throwing up and having diarrhea all day. I think I have that stomach bug.
Receptionist: Ugh, that’s disgusting. You’re going to have to leave, I don’t want you contaminating me.
Student: You’re kicking me out?
Receptionist: Yes. I can’t have you infecting everyone here.
Student: This is a health center!
Receptionist: Sir, kindly lower your voice and leave.
Student: This is ridiculous. (Turns to leave, then comes back) Can I have some free condoms?
