Set to what I can only describe as “human trumpet” music, three dudes set about showing off their 30-day-old beards in this latest hair-raising video from SU’s Newshouse.
The video starts off with a question: “How would you describe a 30 day beard in one word?” Despite the inherent creepiness in all of their answers””each uttered with the slow, purposeful tone one would expect from”¦well, a man with a strange beard””my hat goes off to “full-bodied” for its ability to connote images of full-bodied women drinking full-bodied beers while a giant gently caresses their hair with a loofah. Kudos.
“NoShavember” then progresses, via time-lapse photography, through the respective thirty-day periods of three men who, I’m guessing by day thirteen, attempted anything and everything (not involving a razor) to remove the hair from their faces. The most popular tactics including ripping each hair out individually, setting your face on fire, rubbing your face against a brick wall, and, the most popular No Shave November remedy, asking Nicolas Cage to rip your face off and trade with you. (Note: it would be more embarrassing to be Nicolas Cage than to have a scraggly beard, the dude hasn’t made a good movie since [insert movie you think he was in that was good but that actually makes Gigli look like Schindler’s List].)
After failing to persuade Nic Cage to face/off with them, the three set about creatively shaving their beards””this time to music that I can best describe as “guys saying “aardvark.'” The best part of the sequence? Whatever the guy with the mustache is doing with his electric clippers at 0:24. I don’t know why he looks so angry while he’s doing it, but I can imagine thirty days without shaving is similar to thirty days without sex: anything can set you off (double-entendre intended).
At this point, the Do-ragtime band scoring the video upgrades from human trumpets to human “wah-wah”- sayers, and our formerly bewhiskered friends sport some freshly coiffed faces, two of them maintaining villainous mustachioed look (ideal for twirling on a park bench while reading a newspaper), the other opting for the cleaner “this is what my face feels like?!” hairless look.
I’m not sure when No Shave November came about, or why, nor do I care. What I care about is that people still do it. I care more that these three had the courage (and, let’s just say it, motivation) to not only do it, but to document the journey from start to finish in video form, something I’ve always wanted to do but was always far too lazy to do. From one bearded man to another, kudos for putting yourselves out there in all your piliferous glory.
Now please, in all seriousness, tell Nicolas Cage to stop making movies.
