Saturday’s football game wasn’t a total loss, at least not
for Otto, the Syracuse mascot. Just after halftime of the game, Otto, in a
football rage common to the SU community, decided to consume one of the
cheerleaders, Becky Johnston.

“Normally, Otto does that funny thing,” said Cheer Captain
Hillary Denver, ever so poignantly, “you know, where he, like, steals some
kid’s hat, eats it, and then gives it back. But Becky just never came back

“It was horrible,” said male cheerleader Ryan York. “I
lifted her up, and then she came back down and went right into Otto’s mouth. If
I’d just been able to hold her up for a little longer, maybe he wouldn’t have
eaten her. Then again, he looked pretty hungry…”

Representatives, speaking on Otto’s behalf, commented, “Mr.
Orange does this once every year. He has to feed in order to continue to
entertain the Syracuse community, and so once a year we lose a member of
society. This year, we were just unfortunate because we lost a cheerleader.” He
added, “Look on the bright side: at least it wasn’t a basketball player.”

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