Amir Rahman was not going to pay $327 for a book on cell biology.
“First off, I wasn’t going to buy the book at all until I found out that we had a midterm on Wednesday,” says Rahman, a sophomore at Purdue University. “I figured I’d go into the bookstore, bring a pad and paper and take notes on whatever I needed.
“Turns out it’s really hard to take half a semester’s worth of notes standing up in a bookstore. Especially when security keeps whining, “Sir, you can’t read the book in here,’ or, “No, sir, we cannot copy 463 pages of a textbook for free.’ What a rip off.”
After being chased through the store by security guards for several minutes, Rahman was finally brought to the register and told to either purchase Essential Cell Biology or leave the store, Rahman acknowledged defeat and presented the textbook to the cashier.
“I just want to say in my defense that I have no say in how much the campus bookstore charges for textbooks,” said Debra Jones, a sophomore who rang up Rahman’s order. “I’m just saying, I was not being racist at all. I’m not sure how it’s racist to just say, you know, “Sir, that’ll be $327.16.’ It’s not, right? “Cause, um, I’ve said that to tons of black people and they’ve never gotten mad.”
Added Jones, “Wait, that sounded racist”¦”
According to security guards on duty during the incident, Rahman made a scene, accusing the cashier, and everyone in the store, of hating Arabs and of punishing him for 9/11.
“I was nine years old!” said Rahman. “I had nothing to do with it! Seriously, how much does this book really cost?!”
Finally, after being told several times by Jones that the book really did cost $327, Rahman ripped his left leg from its socket, then did the same to his left arm and plopped them on the counter.
“It was fuckin’ sick,” said junior Ted H. Calhoun, present during the ordeal. “The dude fuckin’ ripped his limbs out, grabbed his book and jetted.”
“Well, he didn’t really jet,” added Calhoun. “Sorta hobbled. Still. It was awesome.”
Rahman, who deemed his actions on Monday “worth it,” will reportedly be suing Purdue University and the university bookstore for its “ludicrous prices.”
Bookstore officials could not be reached for comment, though some students witnessed several representatives laughing while en route to the bank.