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Cornell Football #8. Entrepreneur. Miami, FL --> Ithaca, NY
June 10, 2012

Top 10 Ways to Piss a Cornell Professor Off

While some students at Cornell wonder why their professors hate them, some try to intentionally get their professors to hate them. Here are the top ten ways to piss off a Cornell professor:   10. Go to class 4 times the entire semester. NO MORE, MAYBE LESS. 9. Walk into class late and throw the... MORE »

June 6, 2012

Gannett Receives First Bath Salts Patient

Ever since Rudy Eugene, a.k.a. the Miami “Zombie”, made international headlines, the use of bath salts has risen. People are trying to get so high that they eat homeless people’s faces off. Sophomore-to-be Stephen Willis decided to give them a try, and made a terrible mistake. The terrible mistake Willis made had nothing to do... MORE »

June 6, 2012

Student Graffities Campus Hill After Miami Heat Loss

While there are not many Miami Heat fans in Ithaca, especially right now, there was one in Campus Hill during the team’s loss to the Boston Celtics on Tuesday night. Everyone still in the building found out that senior-to-be Martin Majerle was still in Ithaca as soon as the final buzzer ring.   Majerle started... MORE »

June 3, 2012 1 Comment

Student Suspended for Getting Professor, Entire Class High

The end of the school year is always a great time, from not having work to cupcake parties with your professors, it’s always a happy moment. Unfortunately, there is always that one person that just takes it too far and screws everyone else over. In this case, that guy is junior Martin Solscribe. On Thursday,... MORE »

June 3, 2012

Popeye’s to Open in Place of CTP

After late nights of partying, Collegetown Pizza has always been there to serve the Cornell community. The sad news that it will be relocating to Dryden Avenue upset many, but don’t cry too much, because a new restaurant is about to open on the corner of college and Dryden, and it’s going to be just... MORE »

May 30, 2012

MUST READ: Grads Caught Doing Keg-Stands on President Skorton’s Roof

Out of all the crazy stories we have heard from senior week, this has to be the craziest one by far. Let’s just say recent-grads, President Skorton’s roof, and keg-stands do not go together. On Sunday night, at approximately 2 a.m., police were called to the Skorton residence by the President himself. He believed that... MORE »

May 30, 2012

Student Found Living in Bailey Hall

Summer has started and many students who are staying in Ithaca have been moving into new apartments to get settled in early. That is not the case for freshman Brian Michael Timinsky, who was found by maintenance living in Bailey Hall on Tuesday. Apparently, Timinsky had set up a living quarters in the basement of... MORE »

May 26, 2012

Skorton and Bloomberg to Host Party at Level B

With convocation finished, and students off with their families and friends enjoying the moment, it’s time for the big guys to have fun. Tonight, at Level B, President David J. Skorton and convocation speaker and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg will be hosting an invite-only dance party. The party was not supposed to be... MORE »

May 23, 2012

Senior Gets Stuck in Toilet at Catherine St. Block Party

Senior week is a time of enjoying some of the last times you’ll be together with all of your friends. Unfortunately for senior Pep Hamburg, he missed one of the seven days completely. The reason, well, he simply got stuck in the toilet for most of Tuesday afternoon. The incident happened at the Catherine Street... MORE »