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March 12, 2011

International Student Discovers Deodorant; Pretends Not To

Despite constant effort throughout the domestic student community in recent history, questions have been constantly raised, forever thought to remain rhetorical.  These inquiries without a doubt have always delt with the obvious and potent body odor that many internationals strut around with like a new rhinestone jean jacket.   “How the hell can somebody smell... MORE »

March 10, 2011

Pick-Up Lines To Get Da Gurlz of The Month – March

Have a problem talking to the ladies? Me neither.  But my game is probably better than yours, and you’re just lying to yourself.  Thought it was just between you and Palmala Handerson huh?  That’s not even a person, you disgusting fool.  That’s your hand.  So get off your ass this weekend, or at flip night... MORE »

March 7, 2011

Student Drops Standards; Changes License Plate from NOFATCHX to FATCHXOK

Some may call it a step in the right direction, most would not, but for Junior UB student and Toronto native Justin Diamond the market just got a little bigger.  Maybe a lot bigger. Diamond, born and raised in Toronto was never attracted to women who weighed more than him for as long as he... MORE »

March 5, 2011

UB Fan Kills Falcon With Car, Plans to Use Mother’s Homemade Recipe

In the spirit of March Madness, UB fan and Buffalo native Clyde McHale stands as one of UB’s most die hard fans, despite not having a high school education or any real affiliation with the University.  He claims to be a lifetime fan of UB, especially basketball all of his life.  “My kids grew up... MORE »

March 4, 2011

As Gender of Mascot Victoria S. Bull Put into Question, Victor S. Bull Remains in Denial of Wrongdoing

During an emotional senior night at the University at Buffalo’s Alumni Arena, a bittersweet victory over Miami (of Ohio, not the REAL Miami) seemed in some sort lacking.  It could have been from the recent movement towards the upheaval of Middle Eastern dictators, or the recent heroin busts throughout the city, causing extreme anxiety for... MORE »